"like sugar to my heart / i'm craving for you / i'm missing you like candy"
1 Comments Published by H on 11 April 2006 at 12:11 PM.
I've had a rather sugary few days. After reading a discussion on the PJ forums about pop acts who have gone down the dumper, I became reacquainted with some of my favourite pop dumper artistes. Thus my new favourite iTunes playlist is entitled Bubblegum:
Candy - Mandy Moore She may be consigned to the pop dumper but is now doing rather well with a teen film career and dating Zach Braff.
Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson Okay, Kelly's not dumper pop but this is pre-Breakaway Kelly which was.
Quit Playing Games (With My Heart) - Backstreet Boys For some reason, I could only find the Italian version in my collection.
Tearing Up My Heart - *nsync Dumper pop for two reasons: now defunct and during Justin's afro-wilderness years.
Wannabe - Spice Girls "Zig-ah-zig-ah" has NOT aged well. Much like Mel B.
Say It Once - Ultra "Huh?" Exactly. My hypothesis as to why Ultra failed mainly hinges on the spoken part in this track which is hilariously done in a Home Counties accent.
Be The First To Believe - A1 If you're going to emulate *nsync or Backstreet Boys, then for heaven's sake, head for the Max Martin sound of the later years, not the dodgy Europop extravaganza of their first albums. Also notable for the lyric "I shoulda listened to what my mama done told me." Their dumper pop rating possibly doubled because of Ben Adam's failed comeback
What I Go To School For - Busted Okay, they were hugely successful but if I only need the most tenuous of excuses to to shoehorn Busted into a playlist. Although I suppose that Son of Dork would give them a fair amount of Dumper Points.
Keep On Moving - 5ive Similar to my hypothesis regarding Ultra, the rap which is performed in cod-Jamaican accent ("When the rainy days are dying / Gotta keep on keep on trying") here also scores muchos Dumper Points.
Be Alone No More - Another Level Spawned pop-bloater Dane Bowers. Say no more.
Kiss Kiss - Holly Valance In a sense, Holly should have negative Dumper Points for managing to make an utterly fantastic pop record out of a dire Turkish novelty song but nevertheless, she seems to have disappeared into the ether and I am eagerly awaiting her return as Felicty 'Flick' Scully.
Day & Night - Billie Piper In fact one of the many Billie tracks that feature on this playlist but I came to the conclusion today that this track is highly underrated. To many this sounds like a rejected Britney track but Billie pulls it off much better than Britney ever would. Anyway, hurrah for Billie being a pop-star-down-the-dumper because she's far better as Rose.
M.F.E.O - Kavana FACT: I was almost crushed by a crowd of prepubescent teenage girls once when I saw Kavana at the Capital Radio extravaganza thing at Earls Court. FACT: Kavana bizarrely has carved out a career on some MTV soap.
Blame It On The Weatherman - B*Witched Another pop gem lost in the mists of time. Featured two of the Lynch clan which keep on launching half-hearted attacks on the unsuspecting record buying public. FACT: myself and Sarah bonded over the phone when we were 14 by singing C'est La Vie all the way through.
Steam - East 17 I can't decide what is my favourite part of this song. The comedy sex moans? The whistling which bears more than a passing resemblance to the Seven Dwarves? Or the immortal lines, "You bring the body and I'll bring the steam" and "Outside it's raining but inside it's wet"?
Falling - Boom! Perhaps the pinnacle of dumper pop, an oxymoron if ever there was one. However, this track came out at the height of UK garage's popularity and I fear it got ignored between Sweet Like Chocolate and Flowers. I'm not selling it very well, garage-pop is a term that makes me break out in hives. However, if you can imagine S Club 7 embracing garage-lite then it's a pretty good indicator of what this track sounds like. Track it down now. Marvel at how it has enhanced your life.
You Drive Me (Crazy) - Britney Spears Ah Britney, Britney, Britney. Come back to the fold. The world of pop is a little emptier without your bizarre use of parentheses. Just abandon K. Fed and his snake-like eyes, that way lies madness and matted hair.
One for Sorrow - Steps In the style of all the pop greats, this particular routine included moves that coincided with the number mentioned in the lyrics. (See also: 5ive and A1)
Hip To Hip - V Then: famous mainly for being on the same label as McFly and being whored out to Saturday morning TV as a package deal with their more successful label mates. Now: famous mainly for Kevin McDaid who is Mark-from-Westlife's boyfriend. Also notable for the amazing lyric: "When lady luck has got me down with her high-speed attitude / Am I feeling kinda high? / Am I feeling kinda low? / I feel so, I don't know, like fast food." Amazing.
Stuck - Stacie Orrico I believe she has now gone on to release a Christian pop album. And she had so much potential. She wore a lovely scarf in this video and she had a mole on her face.
Bodyshakin' - 911 Not only were they the Shortest Band In Pop but two of them looked like your-uncle-who-did-some-time-once. I remember reading an interview with them in Smash Hits! once and when asked about whether their lack of stature impinged on their success with 'the laydeez' one of them replied along the lines of "what does height matter when you're lying down?" Indeed.
Continuing the sugar theme, tonight was spent baking Nigella Lawson's madiera cake (a tad dry but nothing that some rum can't remedy):
Watching the Girls Aloud documentary on E4 was also a feature of my evening. Cheryl is fast catching up with Kimberly in vying for the coveted position of my Favourite Girl Aloud. The exchange regarding Cheryl's faux pas on mistakenly identifying Amelle-Sugababe's sister as her mother especially endeared The Tweedy to me.
I got an email from Laduree this morning which featured these heavenly confections:
Although I am possibly the Greediest Girl In The World, I am not much of a chocolate lover. However, these pastel eggs which are reminiscent of their delicately flavoured macaroons and that alone was enough to convince me that my life would be incomplete without these. Incidentally, before I visited the London branch of Laduree, which is located in Harrods, I thought that the stereotype of the rude French waiter was just that, a stereotype. However, having spent 40 minutes being ignored by all staff, even the sumptuous red velvet tea room could not distract our attention any longer. I should explain that ever since Laduree opened, it became an obsession for myself and Lindsey. In fact, months before our visit, we had planned a day of just eating our way around Knightsbridge. So you see, Laduree was very much the cherry on top and although the jasmine tea and macaroons were nigh-on-heavenly, I would rather tear my own arm off and beat myself around the head with said limb before I pay another visit. If you are planning a visit, I advise you to buy a box of macaroons and then head off to Harvey Nichols food hall for one of their fabulous sandwiches and have a picnic near the Serpentine instead.
Anyway gentle readers, I've come over all faint. Must be the sugar rush. I am off to take to my bed with a hand melodramatically thrown across my forehead. Bonne nuit.
Candy - Mandy Moore She may be consigned to the pop dumper but is now doing rather well with a teen film career and dating Zach Braff.
Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson Okay, Kelly's not dumper pop but this is pre-Breakaway Kelly which was.
Quit Playing Games (With My Heart) - Backstreet Boys For some reason, I could only find the Italian version in my collection.
Tearing Up My Heart - *nsync Dumper pop for two reasons: now defunct and during Justin's afro-wilderness years.
Wannabe - Spice Girls "Zig-ah-zig-ah" has NOT aged well. Much like Mel B.
Say It Once - Ultra "Huh?" Exactly. My hypothesis as to why Ultra failed mainly hinges on the spoken part in this track which is hilariously done in a Home Counties accent.
Be The First To Believe - A1 If you're going to emulate *nsync or Backstreet Boys, then for heaven's sake, head for the Max Martin sound of the later years, not the dodgy Europop extravaganza of their first albums. Also notable for the lyric "I shoulda listened to what my mama done told me." Their dumper pop rating possibly doubled because of Ben Adam's failed comeback
What I Go To School For - Busted Okay, they were hugely successful but if I only need the most tenuous of excuses to to shoehorn Busted into a playlist. Although I suppose that Son of Dork would give them a fair amount of Dumper Points.
Keep On Moving - 5ive Similar to my hypothesis regarding Ultra, the rap which is performed in cod-Jamaican accent ("When the rainy days are dying / Gotta keep on keep on trying") here also scores muchos Dumper Points.
Be Alone No More - Another Level Spawned pop-bloater Dane Bowers. Say no more.
Kiss Kiss - Holly Valance In a sense, Holly should have negative Dumper Points for managing to make an utterly fantastic pop record out of a dire Turkish novelty song but nevertheless, she seems to have disappeared into the ether and I am eagerly awaiting her return as Felicty 'Flick' Scully.
Day & Night - Billie Piper In fact one of the many Billie tracks that feature on this playlist but I came to the conclusion today that this track is highly underrated. To many this sounds like a rejected Britney track but Billie pulls it off much better than Britney ever would. Anyway, hurrah for Billie being a pop-star-down-the-dumper because she's far better as Rose.
M.F.E.O - Kavana FACT: I was almost crushed by a crowd of prepubescent teenage girls once when I saw Kavana at the Capital Radio extravaganza thing at Earls Court. FACT: Kavana bizarrely has carved out a career on some MTV soap.
Blame It On The Weatherman - B*Witched Another pop gem lost in the mists of time. Featured two of the Lynch clan which keep on launching half-hearted attacks on the unsuspecting record buying public. FACT: myself and Sarah bonded over the phone when we were 14 by singing C'est La Vie all the way through.
Steam - East 17 I can't decide what is my favourite part of this song. The comedy sex moans? The whistling which bears more than a passing resemblance to the Seven Dwarves? Or the immortal lines, "You bring the body and I'll bring the steam" and "Outside it's raining but inside it's wet"?
Falling - Boom! Perhaps the pinnacle of dumper pop, an oxymoron if ever there was one. However, this track came out at the height of UK garage's popularity and I fear it got ignored between Sweet Like Chocolate and Flowers. I'm not selling it very well, garage-pop is a term that makes me break out in hives. However, if you can imagine S Club 7 embracing garage-lite then it's a pretty good indicator of what this track sounds like. Track it down now. Marvel at how it has enhanced your life.
You Drive Me (Crazy) - Britney Spears Ah Britney, Britney, Britney. Come back to the fold. The world of pop is a little emptier without your bizarre use of parentheses. Just abandon K. Fed and his snake-like eyes, that way lies madness and matted hair.
One for Sorrow - Steps In the style of all the pop greats, this particular routine included moves that coincided with the number mentioned in the lyrics. (See also: 5ive and A1)
Hip To Hip - V Then: famous mainly for being on the same label as McFly and being whored out to Saturday morning TV as a package deal with their more successful label mates. Now: famous mainly for Kevin McDaid who is Mark-from-Westlife's boyfriend. Also notable for the amazing lyric: "When lady luck has got me down with her high-speed attitude / Am I feeling kinda high? / Am I feeling kinda low? / I feel so, I don't know, like fast food." Amazing.
Stuck - Stacie Orrico I believe she has now gone on to release a Christian pop album. And she had so much potential. She wore a lovely scarf in this video and she had a mole on her face.
Bodyshakin' - 911 Not only were they the Shortest Band In Pop but two of them looked like your-uncle-who-did-some-time-once. I remember reading an interview with them in Smash Hits! once and when asked about whether their lack of stature impinged on their success with 'the laydeez' one of them replied along the lines of "what does height matter when you're lying down?" Indeed.
Continuing the sugar theme, tonight was spent baking Nigella Lawson's madiera cake (a tad dry but nothing that some rum can't remedy):
Watching the Girls Aloud documentary on E4 was also a feature of my evening. Cheryl is fast catching up with Kimberly in vying for the coveted position of my Favourite Girl Aloud. The exchange regarding Cheryl's faux pas on mistakenly identifying Amelle-Sugababe's sister as her mother especially endeared The Tweedy to me.
I got an email from Laduree this morning which featured these heavenly confections:
Although I am possibly the Greediest Girl In The World, I am not much of a chocolate lover. However, these pastel eggs which are reminiscent of their delicately flavoured macaroons and that alone was enough to convince me that my life would be incomplete without these. Incidentally, before I visited the London branch of Laduree, which is located in Harrods, I thought that the stereotype of the rude French waiter was just that, a stereotype. However, having spent 40 minutes being ignored by all staff, even the sumptuous red velvet tea room could not distract our attention any longer. I should explain that ever since Laduree opened, it became an obsession for myself and Lindsey. In fact, months before our visit, we had planned a day of just eating our way around Knightsbridge. So you see, Laduree was very much the cherry on top and although the jasmine tea and macaroons were nigh-on-heavenly, I would rather tear my own arm off and beat myself around the head with said limb before I pay another visit. If you are planning a visit, I advise you to buy a box of macaroons and then head off to Harvey Nichols food hall for one of their fabulous sandwiches and have a picnic near the Serpentine instead.
Anyway gentle readers, I've come over all faint. Must be the sugar rush. I am off to take to my bed with a hand melodramatically thrown across my forehead. Bonne nuit.
Yay for Billie and B*Witched. But your standards for who's in the dumper seem unnecessarily high (Steps? Spicegirls? Busted? You might as well add Michael Jackson and Madonna.) Also: Dirty Water by (poor man's All-Saints) Made In London, and anything by Atomic Kitten before they started doing shit ballads and Kerry left to pursue her dreams of advertising ready-to-roast joints (and looking like a ready-to-roast joint). I'm only here to say that honcho is apparently Japanese for the leader of a squad or group. And nothing to do with ponchos or Native American Aboriginal Amerindian Genocide Victims.