"Where the bassline jumps in the backstreet lights"
3 Comments Published by H on 08 May 2007 at 1:13 AM.
This week has been a particular vintage for slightly odd pop news. First of all, there was the widespread joy at the news that Stock, Aiken and Waterman are making a comeback (which in itself isn't that odd really). However, as Popjustice reported, this joy was not only premature but short-lived as SAW revealed that their stupendous return was to be helmed by faux-Australian faux-60s faux-girlband, The Sheilas from the Sheila's Wheels car insurance adverts.
The Guardian ran a piece about the Shockwaves promotional single scam that Popjustice uncovered.
On a slightly more tenuous note (as I'm still debating whether I truly consider her a pop star), Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days. Victoria Newton had a field day with the story and wheeled out the following headline:
Amazing.
However, my two favourite items of pop news this week are the SugaBarbie dolls and following Patrick Wolf's (sort of) retirement, a nascent modelling career alongside Kate Moss.
Mattel have decided that there is a niche market for Sugababes dolls. I am hoping against hope that the dolls have buttons on their back which bark out random Sugababes lyrics. (Which considering Easy might be highly questionable. I'm not sure that Mattel would approve of their dolls purring: "I need a roughneck brother who can satisfy me" or indeed, "The weather's nice and wet just south of the border") Suffice to say, the SugaBarbies look nothing like the Sugababes as clearly Keisha has a enormodome for a forehead (one to rival Luke Haines' cranium) and instead of mobiles, laptops and minature pooches, they should be wielding nunchucks, crossbows and spears.
So, according to this recent interview, Patrick Wolf has just been signed as the new international face of Burberry (I'm guessing it's for Burberry Prorsum as somehow I can't see him decked out head to toe in the Burberry check). If that isn't enough to fan the flames of desire of fangirls and fanboys, there is the following quote which I expect will be doing the rounds: "I'm a lot easier with selling my body than selling my music, so why not?" This is possibly even more odd that the story about the drummer of the Arctic Monkeys designing a clothing range. Anyway, it's an intriguing prospect, seeing the boy Wolf modelling alongside Kate Moss, Ioan Gruffud and Rachel Weisz. I expect that I shall find that much of my time waiting for a bus outside the Burberry store on Haymarket will be more entertaining in future.
The Guardian ran a piece about the Shockwaves promotional single scam that Popjustice uncovered.
On a slightly more tenuous note (as I'm still debating whether I truly consider her a pop star), Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days. Victoria Newton had a field day with the story and wheeled out the following headline:
Amazing.
However, my two favourite items of pop news this week are the SugaBarbie dolls and following Patrick Wolf's (sort of) retirement, a nascent modelling career alongside Kate Moss.
Mattel have decided that there is a niche market for Sugababes dolls. I am hoping against hope that the dolls have buttons on their back which bark out random Sugababes lyrics. (Which considering Easy might be highly questionable. I'm not sure that Mattel would approve of their dolls purring: "I need a roughneck brother who can satisfy me" or indeed, "The weather's nice and wet just south of the border") Suffice to say, the SugaBarbies look nothing like the Sugababes as clearly Keisha has a enormodome for a forehead (one to rival Luke Haines' cranium) and instead of mobiles, laptops and minature pooches, they should be wielding nunchucks, crossbows and spears.
So, according to this recent interview, Patrick Wolf has just been signed as the new international face of Burberry (I'm guessing it's for Burberry Prorsum as somehow I can't see him decked out head to toe in the Burberry check). If that isn't enough to fan the flames of desire of fangirls and fanboys, there is the following quote which I expect will be doing the rounds: "I'm a lot easier with selling my body than selling my music, so why not?" This is possibly even more odd that the story about the drummer of the Arctic Monkeys designing a clothing range. Anyway, it's an intriguing prospect, seeing the boy Wolf modelling alongside Kate Moss, Ioan Gruffud and Rachel Weisz. I expect that I shall find that much of my time waiting for a bus outside the Burberry store on Haymarket will be more entertaining in future.
Yay! More bloggage.
Paris Hilton is too a pop star. Despite not selling many records. I bet the lesbians will stay away from her; I'm sure they're used to incarcerating large numbers of skanky women who look like prostitutes (sorry, Paris, does this mean we'll never be friends?)
I'm far too familiar with the Sugababes Barbies because I watch a lot of Nick and Cartoon Network. It does seem that they just got their generic ethnic Barbies and shoved lovingly-designed (but suspiciously similar) costumes on them all. Sadly we're both too old to enter the Cartoon Network competition to win a day with the Sugababes' stylists.
I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that a friend and I discovered that French Wikipedia is just as insane as the English version. Check out the discussions on cats if your French is up to it; a nice debate on whether "Le chat est un oiseau carnivore" or possibly a rhinoceros. And concern over the several million kittie piccies in the article. Plus veterinary advice and much more insanity. There doesn't seem to be an entry for Sasha Distel at all, although the search also seemed to be a bit broken.
Yesterday I saw a tramp wearing a Burberry scarf. Some day soon that tramp could be Patrick Wolf! Or vice versa.
I assume your failure to cry at songs is probably because you listen to too much fun music. Even the saddest Girls Aloud ballad just isn't going to bring the tears up. Although I'm sure there are some people who cry at All Saints' Never Ever.
I thought Mark Gatiss's hair was very luxurious. I wondered if it was modelled after the blonde creation Rocky in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, who also had a fine mane, or maybe Flash Gordon. I'm not sure what happened to his clothes, but maybe I wasn't paying attention.
I guess Patrick Wolf has no immediate danger of being a tramp. Before that he could always guest star on Casualty and offer his wealth of A&E advice. Would you love him if he was a male nurse being involved in soapy drama?
I'm still trying to decide if I should offer my support to the petition to have Paris pardoned on account of the pleasure she brings to millions of people. Because, frankly, she's also enlivening a lot of lives by being sent to jail, and it's not as if prison will make her less famous. Though people in jail do have the unfortunate habit of becoming born-again Christians, which is not what I want for her. Oh, just put her in the custody of me! I've a cupboard I could lock her in.
I'm not sure if emo kids actually cry, as opposed to moping. I can't really imagine My Chemical Romance bringing up the tears in anybody, emo is more likely to produce a "hmmmph" sound and a sudden desire to go sit in the corner picking at one's scabs. So you could still be an emo kid! How are you at sulking?
I hope you didn't give too much consideration to Nurse Wolf. I wouldn't want to be responsible for distracting you from your work in medical-themed reveries. I don't know if you know his song Lycanthropy, but it makes me reluctant to put him in charge of anybody's medical care.
I think it's more likely that some sort of cat had died on Gatiss's head. Maybe it was feasting on his brains. I don't think merkins should be quite that luxurious. Not that I have experience with them. Speaking of last week's Who, how come the Doctor and Martha spent all that time hiding in the anti-aging booth thing but didn't get any younger? The Doctor could at least have changed into Sylvester McCoy for a while.
I should probably build some kind of prison block in my back yard for the assorted pop stars and heiresses I have planned to keep prisoner. I could convert the bicycle shed out the back. Maybe I have this subconscious urge to be a prison guard. Which would be scary. I do have to drive past HMP Edinburgh on my way home from work every day, so I guess it would mean less of a commute, but I really don't like those big chunky jumpers with the shoulder patches that everyone in a security guard-related industry has to wear.