missprint

Nouvelle Année Heureuse! OK, it's a little belated but I do mean it wholeheartedly gentle readers. My seemingly callous abandonment of this blog can partly be blamed on the technological tempest that I weathered in between July and October of last year but also because I have foolishly taken on a 40-hour working week. I know this sounds terribly naive of me but where do people get the time to live a full and varied cultural and social life (read: television watching and blogging) whilst working full-time?? I shall level with you dear readers, I am struggling. I currently am behind on Desperate Housewives by two episodes, The O.C. by one and I completely missed the pantaloon-a-thon that was Torchwood...quelle horreur!

Fear not, I am working my way through Torchwood from my Amazon rental list and BBC3 repeats. Preliminary verdict: My! Russell T. Davies clearly worships at the temple of Whedon, doesn't he? If he hadn't stated it before, he very obviously intends Torchwood to be the Angel to Doctor Who's Buffy. Everything from the (admittedly gorgeous) noir-ish shots of Cardiff's roadways lit by the sulfurous glow of the streetlamps to a "Mr. Billowy-Coat King of Pain" He even stole the trick of killing off a supposed regular cast member in the first episode! (Remember Jesse anyone?) Anyway, Buffyverse comparisons aside, it was a promising concept which was all too quickly ruined with gratuitous lesbianism and the revelation that Captain Jack is impervious to any blade, bullet or other blunt object you care to hurl at him, thus sucking any suspense out of the whole show. Also, apparently period military = gay. Huh. Who knew? Certainly not Donny Tourette, Pete Doherty or any other pavement-licking Camden urchin I can think of.

I despair of the state of music in Space Year 2007 if all it takes is a tattered straw boater and skinny jeans is all it takes to become a chart sensation. (Yes, The Kooks, I am talking to you. And don't even get me started on The View who seem to be shamlessly plundering the back catalogue of The Proclaimers.) All this is more reason to turn to the bright side of pop. Reasons to be cheerful:

- Patrick Wolf - I am new to the charms of the ruddy-haired one but how can anyone not be won over by the Technicolour charms of The Magic Position? And I don't mean Technicolour in the giddy-E-number-rush of the like that Mika is peddling. Which is not to say that I am not fond of the love child of Elton John and Freddie Mercury who was adopted by Jake Shears but there is so much more density and lushness to be found in The Magic Position. You have to love a pop urchin who is beloved by both the Popjustice and Pitchfork readership. You also have to love a boy who looks like the love child of David Bowie and a matador:



More reasons to love Patrick Wolf: he has hair the colour of Nicola Roberts and Siobhan Donaghy (which as we well know equals a precious and underrated pop talent); he's an precocious electro-folk multi-instrumentalist who has a widescreen pop vision and the second single, The Magic Position is a joyous, churchy Motown stomp which is just on the right side of twee (think bluebirds, lemonade and crayons). Oh, it also has the cheeriest ending to a pop song...EVER. Listen

- Sophie Ellis-Bextor is back, hurrah! Not only does the Blondie-tastic comeback single Catch You slot neatly into the All Time Top Five Songs About Stalking but the video also pays homage to Venice's finest celluloid moments (namely, Like A Virgin and Don't Look Now):

More reasons to love this video: the starring role of the coffee cup; the faux-sailor tattoo that Mrs. One-of-The-Feeling is sporting; the abundance of puposeful pointing and especially the amazing bit at 1:18 where Sophie does a nifty bow and arrow gesture. It'll become a dance sensation, mark my words.

The album is called Trip The Light Fantastic and thus hopefully is, in the grand tradition of all things pop, a paen to the joys of dance. (See Madonna, Britney, the Girls of Allowedness etc etc). If you thought that Catch Me was good wait until you hear releases Me & My Imagination which reunites SEB and disco strings. Hoorah!

- Dame Lily of Allen is releasing Alfie which doesn't make sense as a single (hence the double A-side with the far superior Shame For You) until you see the AMAZING video:

Not since Bender and Futurama has cartoon porn been used so well.

Lily seems to be doing well in the US (in no small part due to the hype generated by bloggers) and her album was released there last week. It seems that all the clearence issues that Parlophone had with Nan, You're A Window Shopper at the time of Alright, Still's British release have been resolved for the US release and it is included after Alfie along with Mark Ronson's saccharine-soul remix of Smile which is currently sneaking its way up my last.fm charts.

- Mutya Buena Fierce as she may be, the material that was premiered on her myspace was dreary paint-by-numbers r'n'b balladry that sounded like a 90s throwback produced by Babyface. That was until Paperbag surfaced recently which is infinately more interesting. Try to imagine if you will, a pop gem that combines the zing and sweetness of Overload and the sass of Freak Like Me (arguably two of the finest points of the Sugababes' career) and you will find Paperbag. Not only is it a contender for All Time Top Five Break-Up Songs but it also manages to employ a metaphor previously unknown in pop: the paper bag as a failed relationship. Sample lyric: "I don't know how it can fit / Cos it's all we were / It's all we ever had / (Memories) / Sitting all alone in a paper bag / Maybe I should get rid of it / But it's all the love / It's all the dreams we had / (You and me) / Sitting on the shelf in a paper bag." AMAZING.

- McFly Not only is Motion In The Ocean surprisingly good (in fact, I would venture so far as to suggest that it might be their best album yet. Which isn't much considering that this is only their third album and Wonderland doesn't even really count it was that bad. But anyway...) It seems that the love-child-of-Gary-Barlow, otherwise known as Tom Fletcher, has allowed Dougie-penned track onto the album and it is by far the best thing in the McFly "cannon". If I were to utter the phrase "homage to Bohemian Rhapsody", I would probably scare you off the track. So, instead I shall post this picture which manages to convey how utterly stupid-yet-brilliant Transylvania is:



Reasons to love Transylvania: Dougie's rather endearing vocals which just fall on the right side of adolescent boy and it combines my favourite period of history with jaunty boy band pop - apparently the song tells the bodice-ripping story of Anne Boleyn's affair with a farmboy (!!)

Note: My Chemical Romance fans will be pleased to know that Gerard Way has joined McFly:



Sugagirls vs. Babes Aloud Well, something like that anyway. Like so many things in life, the prospect of this was so much more appetising than the reality of it.

Reasons I should love Walk This Way: it's my two favourite girlbands...ever! in a pop-off; the first half of the video where they pay tribute to Aerosmith and Run DMC by arguing (via the medium of music) through a wall; the second half the video where they have a dance-off on a nice glossy catwalk and swing aesthetically-pleasing retro microphones at each other and the fact that had this never been recorded, the world would never have been treated to Nicola Roberts in a giant comedy foam appendage:



Hmm. Maybe it is, as they say, a grower.

In other news: I am becoming increasingly convinced that the DJing world needs me. I was out at The Roxy last weekend and after enduring seven minutes of my brain dribbling out of my ears (read: The Stone Roses I Wanna Be Adored), I decided to take the situation in hand and make some requests. Not only were my choices suitably poptastic but also brought the masses flocking to the dancefloor. Clearly, you cannot trust a DJ who plays Jump (For My Love) when a Girls of Allowedness track is requested. So, a second trip to the DJ booth was required to rectify the situation and lo and behold, witness a mass of sweaty drunks attempting to recreate the dance routine for Love Machine. My second choice of Boney M's Daddy Cool also rather brought the house down, if I do say so myself.

Another reason to be quite pleased with myself: I managed to install an Airport Extreme card in my eMac and crack the Dark Arts required to print wirelessly (!)

Another thing I would quite like to write about but sadly don't have enough time for because I have work tomorrow morning (boo hoo, etc etc): I managed to wrangle myself a pair of tickets for the free preview screening of Hot Fuzz yesterday. Not only is it the best film I have seen all year (yes, I know it is only February but still) it has also managed to rekindle my inappropriate crush on Simon Pegg. Hurrah!