missprint

My dear readers, I have a confession to make to you. I'm not proud of what I've done and I shall try my best to ensure it doesn't happen again.

I had a screaming match in a supermarket car park today.

I know, I know, I'm far too ladylike to submit to such base activities (even with the events of last Thursday...) but the red mist descended over my eyes and I realised that it was my duty to just destroy the haggard douche-bag that launched a screaming fit on me. I mean, living in Peckham, I meet my share of crazies. Well, it's more like three people's share. Anyway, generally they're harmless and whilst not exactly 'eccentric' they tend to err more on the side of 'stalker for a couple of streets'. But this woman was just a crazy bitch. That is actually the official term for such organisms. They're the kind of people that think that the world owes them one and still have an attitude problem about, well, practically anything you could name. I cannot stress enough how unpleasant this hag was.

Anyway, I jumped in at the deep end of the story without even dipping my toe into the water. I was attempting to squeeze my car into a rather tight yet prime parking spot at Morrison's. Meg had gotten out of the car first to get some cash and I was just getting my things together. I got out of the car and was about to open the boot to offload all my university crap when the woman in the midlife-crisis-mobile on my right rolled down her window and unleashed a tirade on me about how I had slammed my door into hers when I had opened my car door. Now, being the well-mannered girl that I am, I usually notice if I bang my door into the next car and if I had, it cannot have been that hard, not enough to incur any kind of damage to the hunk of metal and red paint that this woman obviously uses to prop up her ego. Usually, I would apologise profusely and that would be that but seeing as she was so hostile, I apologised in the most austere manner possible and carried on about my business. At this point, the hag jumps out of her car and scurries over to inspect any 'damage'. Cue more shouting about a non-existent scratch on the rubber stripe along the car door. It is at this point where I lose the small scrap of composure and patience I have and start shouting at this old fishwife that I had already apologised and if she had any grace she would have left it at that. I had apologised and I was sorry but if you are going to park in such a crappy way then these things happen.

I terminated the conversation with a loud "BITCH" and walked away.

I swear to god, when I came back half an hour later, I noticed a scratch on my car that I have never seen before. The crazy bitch had keyed my car! It's not a very big scratch, it's about 3 inches and I'm not really that fussed. I'm really more angry that I didn't manage to hurl more insults at the hag.


Anyway, that's more than enough time devoted to that hag. I've had more good things happen today than bad. The only other bad thing to happen today was that I was unfortunate enough to have sat through the car crash that is The Family Stone. If you're looking for a light, easy romantic comedy, look somewhere else. Granted, it's not as bad as the excreable Must Love Dogs (oh John Cusack, where did it all go wrong??), I actually managed to make it all the way through The Family Stone rather than the 20 minutes of Must Love Dogs which felt like an eternity. I have no idea how such a great cast agreed to such a script which leads me to the conclusion that perhaps the film got butchered during the editing process but the film was so awful, I find it hard to believe that it could have been decent at any point. First off, Sarah Jessica Parker, what were you thinking in taking a role where you play the most unlikable lead character ever (even more so that Julia Roberts's character in Runaway Bride). How are you paying for your Marc Jacobs wardrobe? Let's face it, looking at Matthew Broderick's last couple of films, we can assume that he is definately not the breadwinner of the Parker-Broderick household. So, why on earth would you choose a film in which you play an uptight character whose behaviour borders on autistic when everyone knows you should be trading on your pixie-like charms? Don't even get me started on Luke Wilson's involvement in this film.

Today's yay moments:

- When I went out on Thursday night, I managed to break my favourite earrings by dropping them on the floor. I haven't ever seen them on eBay but when I had a look on Friday, there they were. I decided it was fate and that I would have to secure them. It was a close call but I came out triumphant in this particular battle. Hurrah!
- Today was my penultimate lecture...ever. Hurrah!
- I got to wear my new red polka dot shoes today and in the parlance of the kids, I was rocking the vintage Minnie Mouse vibe. Hurrah!
- Due to our campaigning, my class managed to get our Postmodern Writing deadline shifted five days. Hurrah!
- I spent the evening with Meg today as she's heading back to university at the end of this week and sadly won't be back before I go off to Eastern Europe. We just lazed around eating chicken caeser salad and watching Kirstie & Phil's Where Best To Invest. Sadly, found that I still rather fancied Phil, despite his receeding hairline and speech impediment. She also brought me a belated Christmas present, My So-Called Life on DVD as I never watched it at the time. Hurrah!

I was rather dismayed to discover that out of all the London boroughs, the place that Kirstie and Phil deemed to be the best area for investment was...



Elephant & Castle. Kirstie and Phil have obviously never set foot in Elephant & Castle. They've never been subjected to the eyesore of the bright-red Elephant & Castle shopping centre. They never had to endure Christmas trips to the Coronet cinema which had a severe rat infestation problem. The only redeeming feature of Elephant & Castle...no, no wait, there isn't one.*

Answers for yesterday's Pop Quiz:

One // "Ain't no headlights on the road tonight / Ain't nobody here to make it right / 'Cos we couldn't seem to find a way for love to stay / If you had another night to give / I would have another night to live"
Atomic Kitten // Last Goodbye
Two // "I know a girl from a lonely street / Cold as ice-cream but still as sweet"
Blondie // Sunday Girl
Three // "What's my view? / How am I supposed to know? / Write a review / Well, how objective can I be?"
Maximo Park // Apply Some Pressure
Four // "She's got a boyfriend / He drives me round the bend / 'Cos he's twenty-three / He's in the marines / He'd kill me"
McFly // Obviously
Five // "Baby take me high upon a hillside / High up where the stallion meets the sun"
Take That // Could It Be Magic?
Six // "Last night Jackie Chan came around / I played pool with him and we hung out / Mr Miyagi and the X-Men called in for a while as well"
Ash // Kung Fu
Seven // "So much for your highbrow Marxist ways / Just use me up and then you walk away"
White Town or Tyler James // Your Woman
Eight // "Running just as fast as we can / Holding onto one another's hands / Trying to get away into the night / And then you put your arms around me and then we tumble to the ground"
Tiffany // I Think We're Alone Now
Nine // "Nina's in the bathroom / She said, 'time to go now' / But leaving, it ain't easy / I've got to let go"
The Strokes // New York City Cops
Ten // "Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free / At night I lock the doors so no-one else can see"
Madonna // Into The Groove

I hereby crown Spike the Pop Quiz King. Hoorah!

Anyway, it is well past my bedtime gentle readers but when has that ever stopped me? I'm going to have a piece of toast and wait for the Girls Aloud: Off The Record repeat to come on.

*For those of you who are interested, Kirstie & Phil's Top Ten Places To Invest (see, everyone's got listmania!) were: Manchester, Leeds, Bristol, Belfast, Reading, Southampton, Brighton, Edinburgh, Cambridge and Oxford.